upward and outward

Waking Up in the Morn'

2012-01-21T17:35:00.002-05:00

I love to see the creativity of my son, Stephen. Using his small Flip Video camera, he put some interesting ideas into action in this short film. Enjoy!

Great job, son!

love at first sight

2011-11-17T17:05:00.010-05:00

I got my first iPhone a few months ago. I don't believe in love at first sight, but in this case, it happened. Instantly.

I love my iPhone. I absolutely love it. There is no denying that. Just opening the perfect little Apple box was an experience I took in. Go ahead, laugh. Or mock.

At first it was just a new gadget and I spent lots of time searching for cool apps and playing words with friends, with friends. Friends like Pat Santavenere, who I ended up beating our first 9 games. Not that I was counting or anything.

I am a stay-at-home Mom who home schools, which means on most days I am in my dining room surrounded by books, correcting papers, reading Mystery of History, and chasing my little bandits around the living room. Having a 3 and 4 year old and then also a 10 and 13 year old makes for interesting "conversation gymnastics". One moment I'm explaining to baby girl why biting her brother is not a loving thing to do; the next moment I'm trying to answer a grammar question. Yes, it makes for a random day, every day.

The four walls can feel at times like they are closing in on me. My iPhone is my connection to the outside world.

In just seconds, I am able to virtually leave my four walls and reach into another stay-at-home Mom's four walls, right to her. Texting little things about our day, sharing the antics of one of our children in picture form, or just a little back and forth adult convo via text between friends. In short, it paves a way to connect with someone else and I appreciate that. It can actually bring sanity to some of my crazier days.

When I was smack in the middle of organizing the Run For Your Lives 5K, my iPhone became such a useful tool. I was able to correspond with people quickly through email and texting. Updates could be posted on Facebook immediately. Tweets could be tweeted. Documents I needed while out were available at my fingertips. If someone needed a contact, a few taps of my finger and it was done. Right then, right there.

Being relatively new to the world of smartphones and social media, I am learning that everyone has a different set of etiquette/manners when it comes to how and when we can whip out our iPhone or Droid or Blackberry.

What is considered rude by one person is considered perfectly fine by someone else.

So here are some questions I have been asking myself (and others) and now I want your feedback.

1- If you are meeting with someone - a friend, business partner, family member - anyone really, is it inconsiderate to read and respond to a text message? What about repeated text messages?

2- If you are in a store, going through a drive-through window, or someplace similar, is it inconsiderate to be talking on your phone or bluetooth device?

3- If you are hanging out with friends in a casual atmosphere at your home or watching a movie (key word: casual), is it inconsiderate to read and respond to ongoing text messages?

4- Are there times that you turn your phone off completely?

I still love my iPhone, probably even more than when we first met. But I shouldn't love it more than actual human beings. I confess that sometimes I do. After all, it does what I want and asks nothing of me. I certainly don't want others to feel that I don't value them or their time when they are with me, whether it's in a meeting context or just hanging out having fun.

All of this amazing technology provides far more ways to connect and interact with others. As an extrovert, it's dreamy. But it's also dangerous. After all, like every other good thing, it comes with challenges and temptations.

As a mom, my children are watching me. They are learning. They are taking their cues from what I do every day. My actions are teaching them what I value. This is incredibly important.

So please - help me out by sharing your thoughts!

Run For Their Lives 2011

2011-11-06T23:39:00.005-05:00

Check out this video that was shown at Brentwood Church this past Sunday, highlighting the Run For Their Lives 5K on October 29th.

The creators did a fantastic job at showing us the bigger picture and reminding us why we participated in the first place. Keep praying for your girl. :-)

Maryland is featured!!

A Reason to Run....or Walk

2011-09-22T14:51:00.003-04:00

YOU can make a difference in someone's life by participating in our race or making a donation.

Join us on Saturday, October 29th.

Visit www.freedom424maryland.org for all the details....

jr. homeschoolers

2011-09-14T11:15:00.009-04:00

David is my most eager student this year, begging to do school work.

He's four.

Abbie, wearing my old glasses again (frames busted out) is most eager about being the teacher.

David loves to practice letters.

A certain little one feels left out and pouts a bit that it's not her turn.

She has a great pout face, you gotta admit that!

But, when it's finally her turn, and she shows Daddy how she can count seven snakes, she's super happy!

As for me, I'm just happy that David gets to color another yellow sun in his calendar square.

homeschool: week two

2011-09-13T15:02:00.006-04:00

The apple doesn't fall from the tree, does it?

I often wonder why Abbie, loves to do her school work wearing something that I consider part of our dress-up bin. You know, the bin that holds spiderman costumes, star wars outfits, pirate-wear, and even a Hillary Clinton mask! Don't ask....

Yesterday, she grabbed a pair of my old glasses, lenses busted out. And, well, she put them on and wore then the entire day.

I chuckled and walked into the other room, only to see Matt...dressed like this, reading.

Aaaaaahhhh, just another day in my little world!

Home School: Day 1

2011-09-06T15:54:00.008-04:00

Well, it wasn't picture perfect, believe me.

The morning began rough. Everyone woke up late and I barely had enough faith to begin what will be my 10th year of teaching.

It's hard to say goodbye to the summer. Right on the heels of two weeks at the beach and a night at an indoor water park, it's hard to get started with schedules and studies, book reports and science labs. Before even starting, I feel behind.

Here is our day in pictures. I didn't include a shot of Jayda squeezing herself in an empty school bin. And I didn't even take a picture of what the living room floor looked like when I was doing school with the big kids. Let's just say, David and Jayda enjoyed playing with every toy.

Every. Toy.

But here's a snippet of our reality.

Right before lunch we all gathered to learn about people that are living in what is called "Garbage City" in Cairo, Egypt. David was so sweet as he prayed, "Lord Jesus - please keep the people living in the trash safe. Especially the Mommies and the Daddies and the babies."

After lunch, while I did some school work with David, Abbie begged to be Jayda's teacher and happily took her into the kitchen to practice counting and identifying her ABC's.

David was so eager to start. I guess he feels like a big boy now!

Abbie worked on her math using Teaching Textbooks, and she did so in cowboy boots!

Stephen chose to tune his guitar on his break...

The rain is still beating down, the laundry baskets are full of dirty clothes, and I'm not sure what we are having for dinner. Day one is almost over but there is still so much to do.

It's helpful to remember that "Motherhood is a hallowed place because children aren't commonplace. Co-laboring over the sculpting of souls is a sacred vocation, a humbling privilege." (Ann Voskamp)

A Great Combination

2011-09-03T11:31:00.007-04:00

I love Shaun Groves' newest CD, "Third World Symphony".

I love Ann Voskamp's book, "A Thousand Gifts" as well as her blog.

Here they are together, talking and worshiping to the song I've been singing for over a month now.

Here's an interview I did with Shaun Groves, via email.

All Is Grace (With Ann Voskamp) from Shaun Groves on Vimeo.

Family Vacation: The Drive Home

2011-09-01T09:47:00.009-04:00

Thank God for the ol' Macbook. A special viewing of "Cars" helped the kids with the travel.

When we hit some DC traffic, some drifted asleep. Even big girls get tired.

And finally, after a wonderful time away with our family, it is ALWAYS so good to see our home! Although Comcast was out, we had power and there wasn't any flooding or damage to our home.

Family Vacation: Happy with the Wolf

2011-09-01T09:47:00.002-04:00

Family Vacation: Last in Line

2011-09-01T09:40:00.003-04:00

Our one driving setback occurred on our drive to the Great Wolf Lodge. We tried to stop for lunch several times in Virginia, only to find restaurants and gas stations closed due to power outages. Along the stretch of I-95, driving through North Carolina, we saw many collapsed trees and some huge trees totally uprooted.

The need for gas became critical and after finally learning of a gas station that was open, we settled into our place in line. Last.

Family Vacation: Day 16 "Last Day in South Carolina"

2011-08-27T21:45:00.007-04:00

Well, if all goes well, we're headed to the Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg on our way home to Maryland. Hurricane Irene's arrival forced us to stay here one more day to avoid a dangerous ride home. It's tough extending your vacation, let me tell you!

So, here's our last day in S.C.

This last picture has a cool story. We went to the Garden City Pier in hopes of seeing sharks like we did earlier in the first week. A man was fishing near us and caught this baby sand shark. He asked Abbie if she wanted to hold it and explained specifically where to grasp it so it wouldn't bit her. Pretty cool! When he told her to throw it back in, he said, "And watch to see if a big shark eats it." Stephen and I peered over the ledge and as soon as the baby shark hit the water, up popped a 5' shark to eat the baby! So cool!

The Help: A MUST read

2011-08-27T13:22:00.004-04:00

A few months ago, I picked up a copy of "The Help" after hearing from my sister Barb how great it was.

WOW - what a novel. After just the first chapter, I was engaged and actually forced myself to read slow so that I could enjoy the experience longer!

When I first saw the previews for the movie, I was a little concerned. I really cared about these characters and the story was such a deep, moving one for me and since the previews looked lighthearted, I was afraid it wouldn't do the book justice.

I have seen the movie twice now (Matt and I saw it on a date in South Carolina!) and in my opinion, while it's not as good as the book (what movies are, really?), I think it did a fairly good job at keeping with the overall tone of the novel. Stellar performances!

There are so few movies I feel I can wholeheartedly recommend these days, but The Help is definitely one of them.

For an excellent review of the book, I can't commend this enough, from Thabiti Anyabwile, Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman in the Grand Cayman Islands.

Now stop what you are doing, buy the book or put yourself on the waiting list at your local library and READ IT!

Hurricane Simulation

2011-08-27T13:15:00.002-04:00

We kept passing this contraption in the mall and decided to let the kids try it out. Pretty funny video footage, especially of Jayda's array of emotions.

Family Vacation: Day 15 "Acquire"

2011-08-27T12:38:00.002-04:00

With the house mostly packed up and ready to go in the morning, it's time for a game of "Acquire".

Can you see that Matt is scheming against his children?

Family Vacation: day 14 "Mall-Fun"

2011-08-26T21:52:00.006-04:00

We headed to Coastal Grand Mall so that I could get a new purse, so what does Matt do while I'm looking around?

He grabs a hat and does a Michael Jackson stance with Abbie.

Since we were hoping to dodge Irene by staying in South Carolina a bit longer, we allowed (sorta shoved) the kids to try out this Hurricane Simulation machine.

"Cops and Robbers" - Part 2

2011-08-25T10:38:00.003-04:00

So Allyson's passenger side window was bashed in and my purse was taken.

We called the Police and learned that this particular mini golf had several break-ins recently. While we waited for them to arrive, we huddled together and prayed that the robbers would be found and that I'd get my purse back. Even as my children were praying aloud for this, in my heart, I had even less faith than a mustard seed.

The Police Officer arrived, took our statements, asked a bunch of questions and began dusting for fingerprints. Abbie and I decided to look around the perimeter of the parking lot, hoping that maybe they grabbed the cash from my wallet and tossed the rest. In our search, just about 10' from the car, we discovered a utility knife on the ground with glass from the window around it. The Police Officer added it to an evidence bag.

We didn't find my purse in the parking lot, but we did discover some huge tire tracks that appeared like they were from a truck or SUV that peeled wheels out of there.

Phoning Matt, I learned that over $500 had been withdrawn in addition to a few charges at a local Exxon Mobile gas station. I handed my phone to the Police Officer so that Matt could give her the detailed information. As she was speaking to Matt, a family was leaving the golf place and stopped and asked, "What happened...did a golf ball hit your window?"

We explained that we were robbed and both the father and older son in the group remembered seeing a gray Mitsubishi truck, with no hubcaps, peeling wheels out of the parking lot without any headlights on. The direction they went, which was out the Entrance, seemed to fit the way the tire prints were. I got a little hopeful. There was also video surveillance that could possibly show something but the Police Officer would not have access to that until the morning.

Covering her fist with a blanket from the car, Allyson punched out the rest of the glass, and brushed out as much of the mess that she was able to so that we could ride home safely.

When we got back to our beach house, I was pretty emotional. While Matt canceled all of our credit cards, I was particularly worried about my social security card, drivers license and keys. These robbers had everything they needed to steal my identity as well as get into my home and cars! It was a very unsettling feeling.

At around 1:29 a.m., my iPhone rang and to my utter shock, it was the Police Officer! Because of the tip that family provided about the truck, they were able to send out an APB and within a few hours, they found the robbers.

And they had my purse! Aside from the cash, everything was still inside!

Turns out it was three people - two guys and a girl. The girl was afraid when the Police Officer questioned her and she spilled the beans! One of the guys said that he lost his knife! Yes, it was the exact same knife we found in the parking lot. Basically, the girl was the driver and the guys were doing the robbing and they were doing it quite successfully down the Grand Strand corridor, hitting up tourists with obvious out of state license plates.

So, at 1:45 a.m. we were driving back to the mini golf to meet the Police Officer to get my purse back. She pulled out a big plastic bag marked "EVIDENCE" and there was my purse! Aside from reeking of smoke, everything was there, even my bluetooth! Seems their robbing was supporting a drug habit, which explained the odd test tube looking gadget in my purse. That wasn't mine and the Police Officer quickly took it.

All three people were arrested and put in jail and the Officer told us that they would be prosecuted in a high crimes court case.

Wow, what an adventure!

I am still amazed that my purse was found. Even though I prayed, I didn't really believe in my heart it was going to happen. I am so thankful that God is greater than my unbelief!

Family Vacation: day 13 "Cops & Robbers"

2011-08-25T02:31:00.004-04:00

I haven't been commenting much on my vacation photographs. I mean, there isn't much of a need. A picture is worth a thousand words, so I was trying to save the commentary and just show the image(s) that stood out on each day.

Today requires an explanation though, trust me.

We awoke to another gorgeous beach day. Matt had a full day with our four ewoks yesterday, while I went to Bulls Island with Allyson, so today was a little personal time for him at the beach.

All alone. No kids. No boogie boards. No sand toys to carry or hands to hold or a need for watchful eyes at the beach. Not today, not for Matt. It was just Matt, a few cold drinks, a can of Pringles, a book, and a bottle of oils for his already darkened body.

We all went to dinner at one of our favorites, Drunken Jacks. Things were going well.

Since it was such a beautiful, clear, night (calm before the storm ?), Allyson and I went to miniature golf with Stephen and Abbie and Matt stayed back with David and Jayda. It was a fun course and we were all golfing pretty well. Stephen got two hole in ones and Abbie was getting a "2" on most of the holes, meeting the par.

Look how happy my big kids are!

When we finished up the 18th hole, we anxiously waited for Allyson to tally up the score and announce the winner and loser.

Winner: Tracy...me...woohoo!

Loser: A tie between Allyson and Abbie

2nd Place: Stephen

Just as we were getting ready to walk down to hand in our putters, Abbie looked down (the last hole was up high) and noticed that the passenger side of Allyson's car was broken. Shocked, we immediately all looked and couldn't believe our eyes. I remembered that my purse was in the car, pushed under the seat.

When we got to her car and peered in, trying to avoid the glass everywhere, we could see that my purse was gone! We were robbed at Inlet Adventure golf! All of my credit cards, my health cards, cash, drivers license, social security card and other personal things were in my purse, along with my bluetooth, keys, and let's not forget my Norwex opti-cloth.

Within 30 minutes, Matt discovered that they had withdrawn over $500 from my checking account in addition to over $70 at a local gas station.

.....To be continued.....

"Roadblock"

2011-08-24T12:22:00.005-04:00

Sometimes...when you are walking down a crude path

with mosquitos nipping at every inch of your bare skin,

you hit a roadblock.

This was ours at Bulls Island. Click on the picture twice to get a good view of our roadblock.

An Estuary is An Amazing Place

2011-08-23T22:40:00.003-04:00

Family Vacation: day 12 "Boneyard Beach with Allyson"

2011-08-23T21:59:00.003-04:00

Talk about an interesting place!

Family Vacation: day 11 "Litchfield Bike Path"

2011-08-22T18:40:00.003-04:00

Family Vacation: day 11 "Reflections"

2011-08-22T18:37:00.001-04:00

Family Vacation: day 10 "Pawley's Island Community Church"

2011-08-21T12:29:00.004-04:00

I love going to church altogether as a family!

In one van.

Sitting together in the service.

No pastoral responsibilities for Matt :-)

Thank you Pawley's Island Community Church, our official vacation church!

Family Vacation: Day 10 "My Rocker before Church"

2011-08-21T12:25:00.003-04:00

On the screened in front porch...

In a rocker...

View of palm trees...

All alone before church...

Family Vacation: day 9 "Moving into Litchfield Beach House"

2011-08-21T12:20:00.006-04:00

Family Vacation: day 8 "Big Brother"

2011-08-20T14:47:00.001-04:00

Family Vacation: day 7 "Special Treats"

2011-08-20T14:40:00.004-04:00

Possible

2011-08-18T09:40:00.003-04:00

We didn't think it was possible, but it is.

Jayda DOES in fact get tired.

Long days at the beach & pool (-) nap times (=) a tired Jayda.

I LOVE this equation!

Family Vacation: day 6 "Speed Racers"

2011-08-18T09:33:00.002-04:00

Family Vacation: day 6 "Walking to the Beach"

2011-08-18T09:32:00.004-04:00

Family Vacation: day 5 "Splish Splash"

2011-08-15T19:23:00.004-04:00

Family Vacation: day 5 "Up, Up and Away!"

2011-08-15T12:24:00.004-04:00

Family Vacation: day 4 "Treasure Hunters"

2011-08-15T08:32:00.002-04:00

Day 4: We shall not fear sharks!

2011-08-14T15:19:00.002-04:00

Day 3: Little Lifeguards

2011-08-14T15:05:00.002-04:00

Family Vacation: Day 3 "Taking Night Flight"

2011-08-14T15:03:00.002-04:00

Family Vacation: Day 2 "Riding bikes through puddles left from storm"

2011-08-14T15:02:00.002-04:00

Family Vacation: Day 1 "Getting There"

2011-08-14T15:00:00.001-04:00

Run for Their Lives

2011-08-04T20:48:00.006-04:00

Run for Their Lives is a 5K that will be held on October 29th throughout the United States. With options to run or walk, this race aims to spotlight the tragedies of sexual exploitation across the world. Poverty and human trafficking has forced hundreds of thousands of women and children into sexual servitude.

Just check out these statistics:

It is estimated that two children are sold into slavery every minute
There are more than 300,000 prostitutes in Thailand alone
These women and children produce an approximate annual income of $27 billion
Close to $300 million is transferred every year to rural families by women engaged in prostitution in urban areas
Right now, as you read this, women are sacrificing their dignity and self-worth in order to provide for themselves and their families. This is an issue of poverty.

We must not ignore the enormity of the issue. We can make a difference. Let's start by lacing up our running shoes (or walking shoes) and bring awareness to the issue and financial aid to the victims.

What can you do to make a difference? Join us for the race in Maryland!

Location: Beachmont Christian Ministries

Check in begins at: 7:30 a.m. (pick up race t-shirts and racing bib)

Race begins at: 8:30 a.m.

More information & details about how to register can be found at:

www.freedom424maryland.org

Run for them. Run for freedom. Run for their lives.

saying goodbye, again

2011-07-27T15:47:00.013-04:00

If and when you make the ginormous decision to be a foster parent, learning to say goodbye is inevitable.

When our family took the plunge into the world of foster care, back in 2008, we were as prepared as we could be for this to happen. We anticipated children coming and going. I dreamed of the many faces and personalities that would become a part of our lives for a period of time. The weeks of foster training reminded us that in most cases, children will be returned to their birth parents or a relative. This, after all, is the primary goal of foster care.

It's a tricky thing to sign up for. Apart from God's leading for our family, I cannot imagine doing this. I mean, why would I want to care for a child or children, get attached to them, only to have to say goodbye after 30 days, 3 months, 6 months, a year, or even 2 years? How could I do that? How could I put my children through that pain of loss? It's not just a tricky thing to sign up for, it's a crazy thing to sign up for! In essence, when you choose to be a foster parent, you are saying yes to:

- your family dynamics changing, again and again

- driving your foster child to visits, doctors offices, various appointments

- possible behavior problems

- unknown health issues

- emotional ups and downs and many tears

- doubts that you ever should have done this

- giving your heart and love to a child you don't know

- reorganizing the space in your home

- the reality of having to say goodbye

- trusting God for this child's future when they leave you

It's one thing to offer your life up for such a cause when you are married...

- when you have someone who is living the challenges and joys right beside you

- when you have someone to talk with about the decisions that need to be made

- when you have someone to cry with, to pray with, to dream with, to trust with

But what about offering up your life for such a cause when you are single?

My longtime friend Becky has chosen to do just that. Today she just said goodbye to a 10-year old girl that she parented for the last month. This was her third foster daughter and her third goodbye.

I have watched her sacrifice her time, her money, her privacy, her personal space, her freedom, her possessions, and her preferences to name just a few things.

I have watched her sacrificially care.

I have watched her humbly ask for help.

I have watched her trust in the Lord through the challenges, not denying the turmoil but choosing to love regardless.

And really, it's been a beautiful thing for me and my family to witness, up close. I can gather my children together and point to Aunt Becky as an example of how sometimes God calls us to do hard things. And sometimes we are called to do them seemingly alone.

When they look at their Aunt Becky, they can see a real life example of how following Christ means losing our own lives; abandoning our own desires, so that we might demonstrate the good news of Jesus to others.

I thank God for my friend. I am praying for her as she has had to say goodbye to a special little girl.

Again.

my dad

2011-07-15T11:04:00.012-04:00

Today my Dad turns 62. Wow.

We used to call him "the boy" because when my Mom married him, he was 14 years younger than she was. Yes, my Mom robbed the cradle as they say.

I will always be thankful for the time that "Joe" came into my life. My "real" Dad died when I was just 10 years old. My little world was shaken and I could not grasp the reality that I would grow up without him. I missed

having a Dad.

Joe was a friend of my parents for years prior to my Dad's death. He was no stranger to my Mom and he was among one of the single men that sought to take her out to dinner in an attempt to get her living life again. Although Joe was a part of a big family - one of seven children - he did not have his own family and had little experience with children in general.

When he and my Mom started officially dating, she came with a package! My sister Jennifer and I were just kids - ages 10 and 12 at the time. Our oldest two sisters were married but certainly still very much a part of our close knit family. If Joe married my Mom, he would have a ready made family and would also be giving up starting a family of his very own.

The two main words that I believe define Joe's character are: sacrificial and loyal

I remember one winter when we were experiencing a snow storm and driving was near impossible. My Mom really wanted to see Joe (they were still just dating at the time) but the several feet of snow was keeping them apart. In a gallant effort to be with her, he put on his skis and actually skied to our home! As a young girl at the time, I thought this was the coolest most romantic thing ever.

For not having any experience with children, after marrying my Mom, Joe jumped right into his role as Dad. He never tried to replace my "real" Dad; he was himself. He was learning as he went along. I'm sure my sister and I presented many challenges to him, but his love and care for us was always marked by sacrificial love and loyalty.

I can see Joe's face among the crowd at my many, many softball games. Sometimes I would have 3-4 games a week and he was always there. Always.

I can see Joe sitting beside me in a car in a parking lot at Villa Cresta Elementary school, patiently teaching me how to parallel park.

I can see Joe waiting up for me when I came home from dates with boys.

I can see Joe's smiling face when he became a grandfather for the first time.

I can see Joe's face and imagine his arm supporting mine as he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day.

I can see Joe's scared face beside my children's scared faces as we rode the Tower of Terror together at Disney.

I can see Joe's face in airports as he waited among the crowds to meet his grandchildren that were adopted from Russia. I can see both Stephen and Abbie in his arms.

I can see Joe' face in a courtroom in Bel Air, celebrating our adoption of David and Jayda. Long before we even knew we were adopting these precious children, Joe embraced them as if they were already his grandchildren.

I can see Joe's eyes tear up just about whenever he reads a Father's Day card from one of his daughters or grandchildren. His sensitivity is a refection of his love for each of us.

I can see Joe's face and hear his laughter as he spends time with our big loud family. He is quick to laugh at himself and even quicker to help any of us when we need it.

I don't know why my "real" Dad died when I was just 10 years old. There is never an easy explanation for things like this, but if ever something amazing could come out of something terrible, Joe is that for me. He has truly been the very best father a little girl could ask for!

Happy Birthday Joe, Dad, Pop-Pop.....You wear many hats and have many names!

I love you for each and every one!

*Note to readers: the various pictures show what a good sport my Dad is! In my family, dressing up in various costumes is part of the fun!

"sometimes being a mom sucks"

2011-07-12T20:32:00.011-04:00

Yep. I confess. That's the horrible sentence that I muttered under my breath, just loud enough for Matt to hear, while I was preparing dinner for my family tonight. I didn't say it angrily; just very matter of fact. This of course makes it no better, but for someone that can speak with sarcastic, angry tones, I can at least celebrate that by God's grace I controlled that part of it.

When your child stands up to bat for his very first tee ball game, being a mom is amazing.

When your child rides his or her bike for the first time without your hands steadying it from behind, being a mom is amazing.

When your child reads his or her first book and you know that you are the one that spent hours teaching them letter sounds and phonics, being a mom is amazing.

When a stranger compliments your child's good behavior in a restaurant or store, being a mom is amazing.

But sometimes being a mom stinks. It doesn't have to be that way though.

(I am changing the word from "sucks" to "stinks" because I know that word is offensive to some - my apologies).

Today, I felt that way and those words flew out of my mouth because...

I was hungry.

I was tired.

I was trying to grill food outside and make food inside and serve it to my family outside. There was a lot of running in and out. I was getting irritated.

I was standing while everyone else was sitting, relaxing, talking.

Everyone got their hotdogs, hamburgers, caesar salad, fresh peaches, and drinks before I did.

In fact, by the time I was ready to sit down and eat, everyone else was finishing up and the kids were eating fudge pops.

Really?

Do I always have to be last around this house. Is Mother's Day the only day I get to go first? And I went last all day long! Can't I go at least second at dinner time? Why always last? These were the attitudes within my heart that I didn't speak. But I was thinking them and believing them and building a great case for myself.

As I sat inside alone, having lost my appetite, I knew my statement was born out of self-pity and unbelief in God's word.

It's true that being a mother is a call to sacrifice; to daily serve others before yourself. Actually, this is the call of everyone who calls himself or herself a child of God. But caring for small children (& big children too) all day long just affords you constant opportunities to serve. And serve. And serve.

And serve.

And put yourself last. Again. And again. And again.

And again.

When my heart is believing that this job is a glorious gift...

When my heart is resting in God's promises that He gives grace to the humble...

When my heart is thankful that He has ordained me to disciple these four precious lives, that they might know and follow their Creator...

Then being last is the greatest thing.

And being a mom doesn't stink! It only stinks when my eyes are on myself and when I am believing and living the lie that putting others before myself is a foolish waste of time. It only stinks when I am believing and living the lie that true happiness can be found in doing what I want, when I want. Everyone else, please step aside, it's time for ME.

These verses are the ones that immediately came to mind.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."

Romans 12:1

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. "

Romans 12:10

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,

Philippians 2:3-7

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble"

James 4:6

I thought of Elisabeth Elliot and her book "The Shaping of a Christian Family."

This portion greatly encouraged me and gave me a fresh picture of what mothering is all about:

"A talented woman was asked by a friend, 'Why have you never written a book?'

'I am writing two' was the quiet reply. 'I have been engaged on one for ten years, the other five.'

'You surprise me!' the friend said. 'What profound works they must be!'

'It doth not yet appear what they shall be,' said the woman, 'but when He makes up His jewels, my great ambition is to find them there.'

'Your children?'

'Yes, my two children. They are my life's work.'

re-meeting shaun groves

2011-07-05T22:47:00.007-04:00

Years ago, when Matt and I were hanging out with our friends Dave and Kris Bannasch, they handed me a CD entitled "Invitation to Eavesdrop" by Shaun Groves.

Kris was really impacted by the song "Welcome Home" and after listening to it myself, it became one of my instant favorites. Thanks Bannasch fam' for introducing me to Shaun Groves!

About 6 months ago, I had the privilege of "re-meeting" Shaun through his blog. I am always encouraged, most often challenged in the best of ways, and I sometimes find myself laughing to the point of tears. Shaun continues to speak and sing but only if he can take time to promote Compassion International. He doesn't charge a dime to the public or promoters and uses these opportunities to share the needs of children around the world in hopes that the awareness will lead to more child sponsors.

When Shaun posted that he was creating a new CD, I was super excited to support him and I hope you give it a listen (links provided below) and then make a purchase!

Just yesterday, he invited people to interview him via email so I took him up on the offer, forming three questions that I thought would best give you a window into his heart and how that translates into his music.

So, allow me to introduce you to Shaun Groves.

As a parent, what are some practical ways that you have sought to lead your children in caring for orphans, the homeless, and other vulnerable people both here and abroad?

We sponsor a child through Compassion International for each of our children when they reach age five. Our kids come up with some of the money it takes to sponsor these children, and my kids write their sponsored kids letters every other month. It's a great way for my kids to learn generosity, gain perspective, make a friend on the other side of the world...and learn geography and penmanship!

And every Wednesday I take my kids to our church's food pantry to stock shelves, count cans, break down boxes for recycling and fill grocery bags. They understand by now why some families come to the pantry for help and why it is that we're helping them as a family. Lots of conversations have been had about how we're working with God to help other families and about how other families have helped us in other ways over the years.

Our church also has an incredible children's minister who gets older kids involved in serving littler ones. So our oldest - now ten - is a teacher's aid on Sunday mornings every other month. She loves it and has so much fun doing it that she doesn't realize she's establishing a good habit of serving others in her church family.

Lastly, we're adopting siblings from Ethiopia right now - a long process we're halfway through! And this was a decision we made as a family. We talked about the need in Ethiopia and about how their mom and I wondered if we should do something to meet that need as a family. As we learned more about adoption we shared that with the kids and talked through the decision with them. We wanted them to pray and let us know what they thought God wanted us to do. We let them weigh the sacrifices, talk through how they'd divide up our limited space and whether they'd want to limit their extracurriculars so that every kid in the family could do something they love, etc. There was a lot of discussion. And in the end, they decided with that adoption was something God wanted us to begin together. I think this decision, more than any other, has taught them that sometimes generosity requires sacrifice and that what we sacrifice is so often given back to us in unexpected and spectacular ways.

Is there a particular book that has impacted you that might help someone who would like to take a step in reaching out to those in the Third World?

I think anyone who wants to help others - anywhere in the world - should read When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert. The book caused me to reexamine the efficacy of every mission trip I'd ever been part of as a young person and turned me into the world's biggest fan of Compassion International and other holistic development organizations and initiatives. They work. The book convincingly explains why. Development, not charity, releasing the whole person from systemic need.

Can I be greedy and name a second book? Announcing The Kingdom by Charles E. Van Engen, Dean S. Gilliland and Shawn B. Redford is a book more about the theology of God's mission. For so much of my life I looked at caring for the poor and preaching the gospel as both good but unconnected. In the bible, they're not at all unconnected. Twice in the gospel of Matthew Jesus, in fact, is said to have "preached and healed" wherever he went. In His mind - the mind of God - ministry to body and soul went together somehow. This book does a good job of explaining why, of helping us understand the word "salvation" as something holistic, present and eternal, the way the authors say Jesus and other Jews did. Helped me understand why I felt compelled by God to care for those in need - it was no longer a feel-good tangent I was going off on for some unknown reason but it was very central stuff to the mission of God on earth.

With regards to your newest CD, "Third World Symphony", is there one song that just really stands out to you; one song that is especially meaningful to you and if so, why?

Depends on the day you ask me. Today I like Awake My Soul. My nieces and nephew just visited for a few days. There've been lots of laughs, watermelon, board games, late nights in our house this week. Awake My Soul reminds me that these are gifts from God, to be slowly savored and remembered and traced back to the Giver. Listening to that song this morning reminded me to notice their faces, every wrinkle, every freckle. To not be annoyed by the noise or merely tolerate it but to really hear it, to give thanks for it while these kids are small, while it all lasts. What a beautiful week we had - awake together.

Take some time to check out Shaun's new CD entitled Third World Symphony:

Here's where the player can be found: http://soundcloud.com/shaungroves/sets/third-world-symphony

And here's where the album can be purchased: http://shaungroves.com/store/third-world-symphony/

lessons from sandy

2011-07-01T12:57:00.004-04:00

In case you are just jumping in on this adventure, you may want to check out this post.

Sandy and I have kept in touch via cell phone, and last night our family decided to meet up with her at McDonald's for dinner. We found her sitting alone in the booth in the very back of the restaurant. Her face was sunburned and she looked a little worn out from the heat, but her bright blue eyes smiled when she saw us.

It wasn't easy finding out what she really preferred for dinner; it's her natural default to shyly ask for the cheapest thing on the menu. And even that takes some probing. But our heart was to give her whatever she wanted; whatever was her favorite thing. I took the approach of an interviewer and asked, "Sandy - in your opinion, what is the best thing to eat here?" She played along and answered, "Filet-o'-fish."

Mission accomplished.

Sitting across from her, looking into her eyes, I tear up myself, as I consider her situation in life. I try to hold back my tears but I'm not so good at that these days. She's not either and this unites us in a strangely warm way.

I shared with her that I often considered doing my own personal experiment, by holding a sign that says, "Homeless: Help." For a brief afternoon, I could see how people would treat me. She chuckled and agreed to help me by sharing her experiences of having to do this for the last few days. All day. I got her permission to share her story.

Since 2007 she has been living on the streets, in a shelter, or in a car with her boyfriend who recently left her - taking her few personal belongings with him. She has never held a "Homeless" sign before. It's awkward for her. It's embarrassing. But she doesn't know what else to do. She quit school in the 9th grade and aside from taking care of a home she once shared with her husband before his death, she has limited skills.

She has filled out several job applications at local businesses but no one has called her back as of yet. In the meantime, she needs money for food and a place to stay, so she picks up her homemade sign that reads, "Homeless: Please Help" and stands outside. One day she didn't get "a half a penny" but yesterday things were a little different.

One woman stopped and told her that she needed a rich man to come and take care of her.

A man gave her a dollar and then told her he would give her more money if she would get in his car and do things for him.

Another man didn't give her any money but promised money if she would get in his car.

Lots of people drove by and gave her the middle finger.

Several people yelled, "You're a b#*$#."

And though most people just drove by her, the most common verbal response was:

"You're lazy, just get a job!"

And if we're honest, even if we don't say it out loud, isn't that what most of us are tempted to think or already thinking about people holding signs?

Tim Keller's book "Ministries of Mercy" prepared my heart so well as I've begun a friendship with Sandy.

We had a great little dinner, talking about our lives, laughing at the children, and trying to figure out how we could be of help to her. She is trying to get a job and the type of work she feels she could handle include caring for pets, stuffing envelopes or other simple office tasks, and cleaning houses.

After dinner we were able to get her a few items we thought she could use, along with a drawstring backpack to carry her belongings.

It was strange driving away from her, knowing she would more than likely be sleeping on the streets on in a vacant truck she discovered the other night.

up close & pesonal with Abigail Smith

2011-06-30T13:32:00.009-04:00

June 29, 2011

8:00 p.m.'ish

Bel Air, Maryland

This morning I sat down with local cool kid, Abigail Smith, to ask her about her recent bike accident that resulted in a trip to Patient First.

What in the world happened?

Well, I was riding my bike down a hill and it started going out of control. I fell off and it was dragging me along the street.

What did you do? Did you freak out?

As soon as I got up from the street, the whole cut and around it was completely white. I got back on my bike and rode to my house. When I got home, it started bleeding and then I freaked out because I knew it looked bad.

Where did you go and was the doctor nice?

My mom and dad took me to Patient First. Dr. Igor was my doctor and he was from Moscow, Russia just like me. He was very nice. He told me that I would feel one mosquito bite (the needle to numb it) and then I wouldn't feel anything else. He was right.

Did the needle hurt? Did you cry?

Yes, the needle hurt. I didn't cry but I was close. My mom encouraged me to look at her instead of what the doctor was doing and she told me to breathe. That helped me not to cry. My mom was watching the doctor put in the stitches but my dad had to look away.

How many stitches did you get?

Four.

Does it still hurt?

Only when my mom cleans it and re-bandages it.

Will you ride your bike again?

YES. I will.

What advice would you give to other kids in case this happens to them?

I would tell them to breathe and don't panic.

So...less than a week later, our second daughter needed medical attention.

When Jayda was injured, Abbie was an emotional mess - practically hyperventilating. Yet when she was injured, although she initially cried, she calmed down and stayed strong through the worst of it.

When Abbie was injured, Jayda was an emotional mess - screaming and crying, "Abbie bleed!" In fact, when I had to clean Abbie's cut and re-bandage it, Jayda and David both wanted to look at it. This is the reaction that followed.

Everyone is happy in this pre-clean/re-bandage picture. They are holding Abbie's hands and everyone is smiling. Things are good!

Jayda is so curious to see the boo boo.

After looking, Jayda begins to cry, "Abbie bleed!"

At this point, I cleaned the cut and I was allowing it to dry. David is very concerned and Abbie was very sad. The cleaning part hurts.

I'm so thankful that in both cases with my girls, they experienced minimal pain. Both accidents could have been far worse.

In both situations, Matt was home at a time he would not normally be home so we were able to care for our family together. This was good for us and kind of God. I learned that David knows the importance of prayer as he wanted to pray for Abbie repeatedly and out of concern (like a brother) he doesn't think she should ride her bike anymore.

I saw my oldest son, Stephen, remain calm in both situations. I think that God gives him grace for this as hard things happen to others and it's only when something scary is happening to him that he panics.

I'm not hoping for any more accidents that lead us to the ER, believe me, but I can honestly and sincerely thank God for the clear ways He has showed our entire family - youngest to oldest - His faithfulness and care for us in the day to day stuff of life.

bracelets for two

2011-06-30T13:00:00.004-04:00

Last week, Matt and I were sitting in Bob Evans, attempting to enjoy a spontaneous little breakfast date.

Matt: "I think this is going to be a great new season for us now that Stephen can legally babysit. We'll be able to enjoy things like this."

Or will we?

Just minutes after that optimistic statement, we received a frantic phone call from Stephen. There was screaming and crying in the background. This couldn't be good. Matt hung up and told me:

"Jayda fell and her head is bleeding. I'm running home - you stay here."

Yeah, right, sure. I'll enjoy a nice omelet with a cup of brew while you tend to my baby girl's bleeding head. Let me know how it goes....I'll be here in Bob Evans pigging out.

I guess we all say odd things when we are in stressful situations. Matt was in a panic and he wanted to make sure he got to the scene first. And I do appreciate that.

Just moments behind him, I rushed out, breaking a few speed limit laws, racing to get home. Would she need stitches? Stephen is prone to panic attacks...is he o.k.? How bad is this going to be?

First thing I saw when I opened the front door was a rather large pool of blood on the carpet.

First thing I heard when I opened the front door was screaming and crying. Screaming from Jayda and crying from Abbie, the big sister who was so frightened for her little sister. Abs was also the one who had cleaned up all blood from Jayda's body and no doubt this gave way to fear. Stephen was extremely calm and level headed, handling the situation like a pro.

Immediately Matt and I began playing our parts.

I put pressure on the head and gave Jayda a popsicle, which eliminated all screaming immediately. Thank God for that recent sale at Shop Rite where I stocked up on these frozen treats.

Matt grabbed his Norwex "magic rag" and began cleaning the large blood spots and trail that Jayda left behind. And for you skeptics out there, yes, Norwex worked perfectly.

Our trusty friend Allyson was already on her way to our house so she stayed to calm Abbie down while we took Jayda to the ER. Thankfully, no stitches required. She "dodged a bullet" as the doctor said.

We've only had two ER visits in our life and both have been with Jayda! This comes as no surprise, really.

I mean, it's Jayda.

I'm happy to report that her little laceration has healed just fine. Even while she was in the room at the ER, she was jumping up and down and bouncing on the bed.

I wish this was the last of our "accidents" but....

if the sun was out

2011-06-27T22:40:00.009-04:00

Instead of the bright sunny day we were anticipating, the sun hid behind clouds, changing our plans.

No pool = disappointed children.

But God had a different plan for our family. Far greater than we could have imagined.

When our little ewoks were taking their naps, Matt stayed home so I could do a special date with Stephen and Abbie. They chose the library of all places, so after a quick bite at Panera, we drove towards the Abingdon branch. Just as we were approaching the entrance, we noticed a homeless woman holding a sign that read "Homeless: Please help." The kids anticipated my words before they even left my mouth.

"Guys - we have to see what's going on here. I'm going to stop."

That began an adventure that wonderfully consumed our afternoon and extended into the evening.

If the sun was out and shining bright like the weather forecast stated, we never would have met Sandy, a 42 year old homeless woman in our own community. I never would have had the privilege of sitting in the library, listening to her life story; learning of her struggles.

If the sun was out, we never would have had dinner with her as a family.

If the sun was out, we never would have sat in a restaurant, sharing the gospel with her.

She never would have heard Jayda (3) sing Happy Birthday to everyone in the van as we drove to a nearby hotel.

If the sun was out, Abbie would not have been walking through Target with me, picking out clothes for a woman that didn't have any.

If the sun was out, our children would not have experienced our attempt at living out the parable of the Good Samaritan, as we sought to care for our neighbor.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

We planned our way today and the way led to the pool we just joined. But the Lord established our steps and He led our every step to Sandy.

And I'm so grateful He did.

Our family is nothing special. We are not uniquely gifted and we don't have experience working with the homeless. But our lives have been bombarded with God's grace and mercy; both of which we do not deserve. This love that Christ has shown towards us is what motivated us to befriend a stranger. It is His doing; not ours.

When we finally got home and put the little guys to bed, we sat with Stephen and Abbie and asked them what they thought about everything that took place. They admitted their initial fear and uncomfortableness, but they thought it was cool that when the evening was over, she had a safe and comfortable place to sleep.

Stephen and Abbie prayed for Sandy aloud, and as they did, I thanked Him for hiding the sun behind the clouds today.

*An excellent book that transformed my heart towards the poor is "Ministries of Mercy: The Call of the Jericho Road" by Timothy J. Keller.

price's + smith's = fun

2011-06-10T15:28:00.016-04:00

A simple equation that is always true:

Price's + Smith's = fun

Even amidst bumped heads on banisters, slamming doors knocking little ones over, boo boos on toes, reluctant apologizers, toys in the cat dish, missing mommy, and catching killer spiders...

*Please note that this equation is also true for all adult Price's and Smith's.

To quote the wise Forrest Gump, from Forrest Gump:

"My momma always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

I had no plans today - none at all - so when my phone buzzed with a text from Amanda asking if three of her children could come over while she took Keely to the eye doctors, I was happy to say "YES!"

When I told my youngest two, they immediately started jumping up and down, yelling, "Lila...baby Maelyn...Ezwa...Keelwy!"

My "box of chocolates" today ended up being delightful at just about every turn.

Here's a little smattering of pictures from our day...

Ezra reads to everyone. I am so proud of him! He had a captive audience.

Lila shows Jayda the boo boo on her foot. Of course Jayda has to touch it; this kid finds a reason to touch everything!

Stephen looks for Nazareth, a small town in Ethiopia.

David plays the part of the reluctant sailor.

There were big feet and dark chunky feet...

And little white baby feet...looking for Mommy.

Busy hands, sorting through cars...

Washing phones in kitty cat's water dish...

..while her Mommy, and my taller-than-me friend tries to catch a spider. He may look small in the picture, but he was hairy, fast, and had three white spots on his back.

Clearly he was no match for Amanda and as a result, spun a new web inside of a ziplock container.

The only bad part about this box of chocolates (and really most) is that there are never enough! Surrounded by a bit of chaos, Amanda and I start and stop many conversations.

"What was I saying?"

"Did I just tell you that?"

"What were we talking about?"

Hours are breezing by and it's past nap time. Time for her crew to get going. Yeah, we'll finish those conversations.

Someday.

Loaded up to the max with children - well almost - their van pulls away...

And freedom waits on the other side for...

Because a ziplock container is not a proper home for a white-spotted, hairy, black, spider. He takes a while to leave his plastic prison, but he eventually crawls out and then up the tree, blending in perfectly with the bark.

And a little freedom comes my way too...

the cobra and the cross

2011-06-08T12:45:00.011-04:00

I had the disgusting, unpleasant, close-to-vomitting job of unclogging our stubborn bathtub.

This is the bathtub that we use for our two little ewoks and have you seen Jayda's hair?

O.K....I know you are with me now.

For the past several months it would take the water hours to drain after giving the kids a bath.

I knew it was clogged.

Matt knew it was clogged.

But neither of us wanted to deal with it.

It was simply too disgusting so we left it alone. Simply leaving the bathroom and closing the door worked every time. Out of sight, out of mind.

With homeschool wrapping up and my husband away at a pastor's retreat, I have a little extra time for some home projects. First on the list: that nasty drain.

Jayda and I set out for Lowe's to purchase a Cobra Zip-It. For under $3.00 our lives were about to change. I must admit that I felt like a loser buying this item. We couldn't find it on the shelves so we had to ask some young guy working in the plumbing department.

"Aaaaa.....we're looking (as if Jayda knows a thing, but it makes me feel better including her) for a Cobra Zip-It...can you help us find it?"

This all sounds so official - so proper. What I'm really saying is, "I'm a lazy homemaker and because of that my drain has more hair stuffed in it than Chewbacca has on his entire body."

Pushing my cart with Jayda in front, I follow him to the end cap and look down, a bit ashamed, as he hands me my very own Cobra.

I drive home with purpose, breezing through every green light, Jayda cheering me on for not catching the reds. Lunch is made and gobbled down by hungry children and I head upstairs for the task, Cobra in hand.

As I push the tip down into the drain, it gets stuck and won't go further. Man, this is worse than I thought. I twist and maneuver and it finally goes.

I take a deep breath.

And I pull, gently, slowly, afraid to see what comes up.

This is part of what comes up on the first pull.

I yell down for Abbie to bring me two bags. One is for the gunk and the other is for me in case I get sick. My stomach turns, I make faces indicating disgust, and I breathe slowly. In and out, in and out. Abbie watches me. She breathes with me. She looks down into the bathtub and then she feels for me, really feels for her Mom.

A fight breaks out downstairs between the two little ewoks and Abbie runs down, leaving me alone.

Just me and the drain.

The truth that I was actually thinking about this morning (as I anticipated this disgusting task) suddenly comes to life again. Seeing for myself and actually getting my hands dirty through this disgusting job reminds me of the incredible humility and love of Jesus Christ.

What is coming out of the drain in my bathroom tub, though foul, is no match for the seriousness of my sin. It's so easy to just go through my day, unaware of the severity of my sin and what I really deserve. But if I don't recognize the seriousness, the severity of my sin, how can I and why would I want to live a life worthy of the gospel? This gospel means nothing to me if I don't see my need for Jesus.

This is Jesus, who came into this sin infested world to seek and save that which was lost. He was perfectly holy; without sin, yet walked among sinners daily. He lived with them, he laughed with them, he fished with them, he walked with them, he wept with them, he ate dinner with them...

He entered into their hair-infested-drain-like world.

He lived perfectly, obtaining a righteousness they never could.

He died on a Cross, absorbing all of God's righteous wrath for sinners.

Sinners like me.

As I peer down into the hair-infested drain, sickened by the very sight of my daughter's wet hair, mangled and twisted around the Cobra, this truth - of the love of Jesus - washes over my heart, changing my look of disgust to an actual smile.

Jesus Christ has dealt with my sin - past, present, and future, once and for all. He wasn't disgusted with me and will never be, even when I sin again, and again, and again. His love endures forever, He is quick to forgive, always extending grace upon grace.

This love overwhelms me and causes me to want to live differently.

To not be satisfied with the status quo.

To live worthy of Him who bought me.

Abbie runs to get me my journal that sits open on the dining room table. I've only just begun this adventure of expressing my gratitude to God for daily gifts; gifts that I often take for granted. Saying "thank you" and writing them down is a life-changer for me. It's part of my fight for joy.

She hands it to me saying, "I'm your personal delivery person today Mom."

Grabbing the nearest pen, I write:

#46 Showing me truth while I clean the bathtub drain.

movin' thru May

2011-06-02T17:26:00.013-04:00

Since our Ethiopian host child left, we have jumped right back into life!

Time to share some updates since my last post.

For starters, my Abbie-girl turned ten! She was thrilled to finally be in double digits, but even more thrilled to have a special birthday dinner of her choice.

Her pick?

Spicy garlic lemon shrimp.

With a salad.

And bread, lots of bread for the dipping.

{name} was still here to enjoy this special feast and to our surprise, he loved it. Stephen and Abbie were trying to explain to him that we were eating shrimp for dinner. He wanted to know what shrimp were...so they gathered him by the computer and pulled up a google image of a live shrimp.

Abbie pointed to the picture and said, "That's what we're eating, but without the head!"

As you can see, Abbie had some dipping competition.

Just a few days after Ab's birthday, we celebrated Jayda's 3rd Birthday.

More cake.

More ice-cream.

More cupcakes.

More presents.

With all four of our children having birthdays from March 26 - May 16, it's like Christmastime around here.

When the parties were finally over. Finally....

Stephen and I attended the Cross Current Semi-Formal Banquet. This was our second one together :-) (Stop growing up, Stephen-boy!!)

So long crazy May....Hello June.

an unexpected grief

2011-05-16T18:12:00.012-04:00

I almost didn't write this post.

In fact, I have started and stopped too many times to count, each time wiping away the hot tears running down my face. My eyes are burning and I feel like at any given moment, my emotions will pour out of me like a river on its course.

Swift and steady.

With a forward destination.

Right now I feel like a stick that is floating along in that swift current, wanting to move forward, but stuck on the corner of a rock. Instead of progressing down the river, I am delayed. Everything else is moving forward around me, some things slower, some things faster.

But I am stuck. At least for right now.

After spending a month with our family, our Ethiopian host child boarded a plane with four other children and a chaperone this past Monday. Headed back to Addis; back to normal life.

And we're back to normal life too, the six of us. But the house sure does seem empty.

No theme music from Angry Birds playing in the kitchen...

No requests to watch Spider Man or the Karate Kid...

No neighborhood soccer games...

No piggy back rides and wrestling matches for David...

All pasta dishes have come to a halt...

It's strange. He was only with us for a month, but he just fit in. He squeezed right in the lineup behind Abbie but in front of David and Jayda. It wasn't a perfect month. There were challenges, mostly for my oldest son Stephen, but we all learned so much about how to love and care for others sacrificially. I learned afresh that kids are kids, regardless of what country they were born in.

I didn't expect to cry at the airport. I felt accepting of the situation before us. {name} woke up happy and seemed perfectly fine when he saw his packed bags by the front door. David was another story.

"Why does {name} have to go?" he inquired with a furrowed brow.

It's not easy for a just turned 4 year old to understand why his new friend and "brother" has to leave and live so far away.

After driving 2 hours and 40 minutes, most of which seemed to be spent sitting on 495, we arrived at Dulles. While the luggage was being handled, we got a chance to say our goodbyes.

As {name} could tell that the time was really coming to an end, his sat and dropped his head down, hands grasped together in front of him. My precious little Abbie; my girl with such a big ol' tender heart, knelt down beside {name} and told him how much she loved having him here. The interpreter translated for her and our little guy's head seemed to drop even lower. Turned out he was crying; grief finally showing itself in tears.

This led to Abbie falling into my arms crying.

One of my arms was on {name} and the other one was holding my girl with the big heart.

When Stephen was done helping with the luggage, he made his way over to our little crying huddle and expressed his thoughts to {name}. He then reached out his hand and rubbed {name's} little head that was bent down so low. So low in grief.

At this point, my little duo of David and Jayda ran over to us and wanted to hug {name}. With head finally raised and tears wiped away, he hugged each of them back. Next he hugged Abbie. Then me. Then Matt.

But he saved his last and tightest hug for Stephen.

Then, within a flash, the children were gathered and walking away from us, led by our fantastic Welcoming Angels director.

We yelled our final goodbyes and even waved, but {name} never turned around.

The following day, we learned that the children all arrived safely in Addis.

Back home.

hosting: the final week

2011-05-11T00:04:00.008-04:00

We kicked (no pun intended) off our last week of hosting with an afternoon of soccer playing with Lucas Winters, his sister Kaylie, my Abbie and the youngest three Dubell's: Scott, Megan and Leah.

On Saturday, when we had our interpreter available, I made sure that {name} knew that we had a fun Monday planned for him. Since he's beaten just about every kid in our neighborhood at soccer, I figured it would be helpful for him to play with a real pro.

Enter Lucas Winters.

After hearing what Lucas shared at this past YA Conference, I learned how God was at work in his life in very specific ways. I could see how He was using disappointment and a loss of a dream to draw Lucas back to Himself. I had heard that he played soccer; I knew a bit of his back story through Matt, but to hear the full story from Lucas himself was a YA highlight for me personally.

When I saw Lucas at church one Sunday, it dawned on me that I should see if he would be willing to teach {name} a few things about the sport he is so passionate about. He was more than willing and the planning began...

I must admit, I was probably more excited for the soccer date than anyone else. I was hoping I'd get to see some of Lucas's tricks with the ball and let me tell you - he did not disappoint.

The best part of the afternoon was seeing {name's} face when he was playing and when he was watching Lucas play. I mean, the kid was smiling from ear to ear and his face was so bright! He was definitely in his element and thrived on the challenge that Lucas brought to him. He was eager to learn some tricks and Lucas was so patient in trying to teach him. I bet he'll practice and show his friends in Ethiopia!

Although they couldn't communicate verbally - they were communicating in their own language: soccer-ese!

To {name's} surprise, at the end of our time, Lucas handed him a soccer jersey - one that he wore when he played competitively. He clung onto that shirt the rest of the afternoon, showing everyone he saw, joy in his dark eyes.

Thank you to Lucas and Kaylie for sharing their afternoon with us and for creating such a special memory for our Ethiopian guest! You guys rock!

hosting: week three

2011-05-09T23:42:00.009-04:00

Hard to stay on top of the day to day because we've kept so busy!

First up, our Mexican dinner which included tacos with all the fixins', tortilla chips and rice. {name} seemed to enjoy the experience of making his own tacos just the way he wanted them. As you can see, we didn't use silverware except for the chicken and sauce. We used our hands for everything else!

One of the daily activities that {name} likes to do is play on the iMac. Once he discovered Photobooth, he's been having a blast creating funny pictures by himself and with the other children.

It's hard to see David, but he's on the other side of Stephen, squeezed in on the same chair. There are always so many giggles when the five of them gather around the iMac.

Thankfully, as they create funny shots, I have time to clean up from lunch, begin making dinner, or sneak away to the bathroom, undisturbed. These days, an undisturbed bathroom break is like gold.

We learned that {name} not only enjoys puzzles but is pretty darn good at them! Stephen has always loved puzzles so it was nice to find something they could both do together.

As you can see, {name} is wearing a soccer jersey which he found as he dug through Stephen's drawers!

His wrists are filled with Spiderman silly bands...some of which Abbie hopes to make trades for.

MOLKAM LIDOT!

Central Presbyterian Church was kind enough to host a birthday party for all of the Ethiopian children and their host families. There were games, a magician, two delicious cakes and a presentation of birthday gifts and Bibles in Amharic. Again, it was great to see the children meet up with one another and interact.

We gave {name} a big Spiderman action figure as a birthday gift and as he opened it, he had the hugest smile on his face!

A week after arriving in the U.S. he was able to celebrate Stephen's 13th birthday with us and before he leaves, he will be a part of Abbie's birthday and my birthday. It's like Christmastime between late March and mid-May because each of our children have birthdays in that time frame.

For this reason especially, I am so thankful that we had a chance to celebrate HIS birthday.

It's hard to believe that {name} has been with us for three weeks now. The time has flown by! This time next week, {name} will be on a plane, headed back home to Ethiopia. :-(

a view from the poopy seat

2011-05-03T15:14:00.008-04:00

There are VIP seats.

There are cheap seats.

And there are poopy seats. Today, the poopy seats is where I found myself in the middle of the afternoon when a certain someone should have been napping.

As I was changing the poopy "seat" of my on-the-way-to-being-potty-trained-almost-three-year-old, I had the perfect view of some special people.

And speaking of that almost-three-year-old, check this out:

Yep, that's my girl!

Anyway, back to my view from the poopy seat story.

Looking across the room and out my front glass door, I saw two boys. One African, one Russian. One very dark, one very pale. They sat on the sidewalk with a plastic bin full of sidewalk chalk. They were busy drawing and shading with the assortment of colors. They were intense and focused.

Our host child drew the flag of his country, Ethiopia.

Our son drew some artsy design.

Also from my view, I caught a glimpse of my kind neighbor, who surprised me today with a gorgeous necklace for Mother's Day. Her and her husband's thoughtfulness and generosity pretty much left me in tears.

I could see my little blonde-haired daughter too. She was out there, watching those boys create. Hands on hips, peering down at their work, it looked as if she was inspecting the quality.

As I rolled up and bagged the remains of the poopy "seat", I was actually thankful that I saw such precious people amidst the dirty work!

And now for the Chalk-work presentation:

hosting: day 11, 12 & 13

2011-05-03T08:29:00.004-04:00

The hosting doesn't really feel like "hosting" anymore. Once we hit week two, {name} has seemed even more comfortable around our home, helping himself to things, doing dishes, making beds, helping with the little kids, teaching us Amharic words, and yes - even washing neighbors cars! He really has an eye for detail too!

Our weekend wasn't filled with activities like so many in the past have been. Aside from attending church and Sunday School with Abbie, we've had a few pretty relaxed days.

{name} has enjoyed what seem to be his favorites: playing soccer, riding on the scooter and eating chicken! :-) I also learned that he is excellent at puzzles and can figure them out quickly, even without a picture of what it is supposed to look like. This is not an easy task, especially when Jayda likes to take apart the puzzle as it is being put together. "JAY-DA! JA-DA!" I hear him yell from the other room...

Two highlights include our family trip to Annie's Playground and watching parts of Rocky 3 with him and then watching him box afterwards.

At Annie's Playground, Stephen spent almost his entire time trying to find and catch {name} which was hilarious to watch. {name} jumped from high places that are meant to be jumped from and always got away from my son - if even just by a hair. I had a blast watching but it reminded me of the Coyote and Roadrunner. I remember as a kid sort of feeling bad for the Coyote because he never won. Well...let's just say that {name} was definitely the Roadrunner! No one could catch him - NO ONE.

Matt is unashamedly a huge Rocky fan and once he learned that {name} likes wrestling, he decided that he need to show him portions of Rocky III where Rocky fights wrestler Hulk Hogan. There were lots of giggles from {name} and I don't know if that's because even he could see the weakness in the acting (my theory) or because people were getting punched so hard they were falling down (Matt's theory).

I know, Matt was probably right. It's a boy thing.

After the movie, Abbie ran downstairs and grabbed her (don't ask) boxing gloves and gave them to {name}. The rest was history. He was dancing around, punching our hands and again - we saw how naturally athletic he is!

It's hard to believe that he'll be boarding a plane back to Ethiopia in 13 days. The time has gone by so quickly and as a family we are learning so many great lessons about life and what's really important.

unplanned book review

2011-05-02T16:24:00.005-04:00

My pal Al recently stole a book off of my shelf. I hadn't read it myself yet, but I agreed that she could take it and finish it as long as she wrote a review of the book for this blog.

She agreed.

So here it is. Allyson Watt's review of the book, "Unplanned."

Please note that the lack of capitalization is her doing. :-)

the clinic is surrounded by a gated iron fence, and on most days, especially abortion days, pro-lifers pace the outside of the fence, while clinic staff, volunteers and clients move about inside. is the fence keeping the protesters out, or keeping the others in? abby johnson opens her book, Unplanned, with a graphic and saddening account of what she experienced one day inside the clinic walls. she was director of the planned parenthood clinic at that time, but what she saw that day marked a turning point in her journey from one side of the fence to the other.

i was captured by that opening scene, but the rest of Unplanned is equally engaging. with honesty and courage, abby tells her story of the way that God opened her eyes and her heart to make a radical change. i was already familiar with some of the workings and policies of planned parenthood, having read articles about their practices before. but it was fascinating - in a horrible sort of way - to see these things from an insider's perspective.

i think that christians would do well to be familiar with the thought process and "talking points" that are used to sway people to support this organization. however, i think it was personally even more helpful to understand the genuine care and compassion for women that truly does motivate so many of the staff... they really think they are helping. as abby says, "right reasons, wrong decision." after reading this book, i think i will have a more charitable opinion of planned parenthood employees, while at the same time being even more convinced of the evil, deceptive tactics of the organization itself.

also interesting is the comparison of different tactics used by those outside the fence. certain actions and attitudes seemed to be much more effective than others, and i think there is a lesson to be learned in what she says about that. abby also makes some comments about the way she was treated by different churches at different times, and those statements, although brief, are worth thinking about.

God's plan and timing in the whole story really is amazing, and is talked about much more than i expected. and because the author writes so personally and honestly, i think the overall tone of the book is very sincere, and it probably could be read by somebody from either side of the fence. so, if you aren't sure about your views on abortion, or you don't know much of what planned parenthood is about, this is an easy read that will give you a lot to consider. however, if you are more like me and think you know enough to have a clear position on these things, i would still suggest that there would be much to gain from reading this book. there just might be things you would learn that would balance your thoughts and attitudes without compromising your convictions.

hosting: day ten

2011-04-29T18:52:00.004-04:00

The day began with a great new experience for {name} and three of the other Ethiopian children at Kinetic Youth Academy.

Not only did they enjoy fun games with the parachute, but they had the entire use of the gym. There was rope climbing, rope swinging, trampolines, balance beams and other equipment they could play on.

There were so many big smiles and giggles as the kids were thrusted into the air on a giant swing. Arms out and feet dangling high above the rest of us, you could see pure joy on their little faces.

I'm so thankful to God for the generosity of so many unknown people who sponsored events like these for the children and their host families. These are experiences and memories that the children will always remember.

This afternoon, a couple from church, Eric and LaShelle Bray were kind enough to swing by a nearby soccer field before their weekend getaway without their children!

Eric is a gifted soccer player and it was a great opportunity for {name} to be challenged. My little guy David joined in the game, along with Stephen and Abbie.

So who was victorious?

I would say Eric, though {name} did get a few good shots in. It didn't help that David was holding Eric's hand the entire time they were playing!