I've been slowly reading "Relationships: A Mess Worth Making" by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp. The following is an excerpt from page 64 and worth careful consideration.
To love you as I should, I must worship God as Savior.
Worshiping God as Savior means that I acknowledge that I am a sinner in relationship with other sinners. I remember that you are still in the middle of God's work of redemption - as I am. He is still convicting you, teaching you, and changing your heart. He is faithfully doing all these things at the best time and in the best way possible. None of us ever gets to be in relationship with a finished person. God's redemptive work of change is ongoing in all our lives. When I forget this, I become self-righteous, impatient, critical and judgmental. I give in to the temptation to play God and try to change you in ways only God can.
Talk about being motivated by grace and gospel-centered in our relationships! As I read things like this I am reminded how important the doctrine of sin is to my life and critical in my every interaction with others. Without a clear understanding and agreement that I am totally depraved, I won't see my need for the Savior. If I don't see my need for the Savior then I am going about life in a self-sufficient manner and expecting and demanding that others do things my way, because after all, it's the best way! Self-righteous? Impatient? Critical? Judgmental? Playing God and trying to change others? Yep...I do all those things very easily and it all begins with forgetting that I am the chief of sinners in need of God's grace - daily.
Once I acknowledge this truth, I can turn to Christ in humility and ask Him for help in viewing others through the eyes of grace. My hope is found in the gospel truth that because of what Christ has done for us on the Cross, that "he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)