I meant that, really. That busted diaper led me to the gift of an extra 60 minutes that began in the first chapter of the book of Job. I can't imagine how horrible it must have been for Job to receive news that he not only lost all of his possessions but more importantly - all of his children. The emotional pain and suffering must have been horrendous. It's hard to project how we might respond if we were in his shoes, but I know for me, I would not have responded like he did.
"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." 1:20-21
The very next verse is very important:
"In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." 1:22
These verses immediately cut me to the heart, yet in the most careful and gentle manner. I don't know how long I will have my precious foster children. They are a part of our family and we all love them so much that if feels weird to even put "foster" in front of the word "children". But the reality is that they are not mine. I am called to be their Mommy now, for this season. I am called to love them and teach them about Jesus and pray for them and play with them and hold them close. There is no promise or assurance that they will remain with us though, and that is undeniably painful.
Yet, in spite of the pain and sadness that this uncertainty brings, I know there is a way that I can glorify and honor God through it. Job's example showed me how.
Upon learning of his indescribable loss, he both grieves and worships. He declares the truth to himself - that he came into this world with nothing and that he will leave it with nothing. He declares that the LORD gives and that the LORD takes away. Then he blesses the name of the LORD. Furthermore, Job did not sin or charge God with wrong in his response.
This is the way that I want to respond if and when I hear the judge decide that it's time for the children to go back to their birth mom. I want to grieve and worship the Lord who is worthy of all of my trust. I want to bless Him even when He takes something precious away from me, because all of His ways are good and perfect. I don't want to charge him with wrong. I want to declare that His decisions are right!
I think John Piper's counsel is very helpful when we encounter trials and sufferings - big or small.
"Trust in the goodness of God, and let him be your treasure and your joy. When your calamity comes, may the Lord give you the grace to affirm the sovereignty of God, let your tears flow freely, and let God himself be your treasure and your joy. Amen."